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Blue Tree Spirit

This sculpture, while not a literal self portrait, is still very much a figurative one. Without intending it, I realized just how much it mirrors many aspects of my life. The gemstone leaves are Lapis Lazuli, the traditional birthstone of December, my own birth month. Later this was changed to Turquoise or Topaz, but originally it was Lapis. The different shades of blue are also indicative of a major part of my personality. From a light sky blue, to a deep cobalt or ultramarine blue, it reflects my lifelong battle with depression of many degrees, from simple melancholy to the deepest darkest depths of despair. Even the pose reflects the frame of mind I am often in when locked in the grips of depression. Always my past rears its ugly head making it more difficult to face what's ahead, and always fearing, and dwelling on what lays behind. Past mistakes, blunders, and instances of foot in mouth disease haunt me. Why did I say that? What possessed me to act like such an idiot? Past hurts inflicted by others also come to the forefront, torturing me all over again, as if the injustices had been committed yesterday.

Yet like all things, this too must pass. Depression eventually lifts, and once again I can cope with the world, day to day doldrums, and the future. Lapis holds within its depths flecks of gold, fools gold (iron pyrite), but still a bright spot in an otherwise sometimes dark stone. The pyrite is a promise, a glimmer of hope, and the promise of another day.

Lapis was also once used as a pigment for artist paints, and was the basis for the color ultramarine. The cost was often too high for many artists so it fell out of favor. Today most ultramarine pigments are synthetic, but a few still use powdered Lapis.

Crushed Lapis was also used in ancient Egypt as a makeup for eyes. Prized by the Egyptians, Lapis adorned many sculptures and sarcophagi, once again calling into mind the fact that I am an artist and sculptor.

The tree stands 10 1/2 inches tall including the base. It is hand sculpted out of Aves Apoxie Sculpt, and the face was sculpted out of polymer clay. No molds were used in its creation. The base is hand finished in mohogany, and sealed with an acrylic sealer. The base of the tree is decorated with a few natural mosses. The gemstone leaves are Lapis Lazuli, and have been hand strung onto light gauge galvanized wire.

I intend to make another tree spirit showing the other half of my personality, marking the fire that burns within. If this tree is reminiscent of depression the next will be indicative of mania, the fire versus the ice.